Grief is an universal, visceral experience that may shift one’s perspective of themself and the world. While grief is commonly noted in the aftermath of a death, it may be experienced even in the absence of a confirmed one. Relational changes through experiences of divorce or separation, natural disaster, incarceration, immigration, adoption, disability, and/or mental illness may promote strong grief responses. Furthermore, in a world steeped in political unrest and uncertainty, individuals may struggle to find solid footing and grieve the loss of a desired future. Such experiences may best be defined as ambiguous loss. Ambiguous loss, a term coined by family therapist, educator, and researcher Pauline Boss, is defined as a loss that is unclear and typically without validation. In this type of grief, the ambiguity of a circumstance can increase experiences of stress, hindering coping and resilience.
In her initial research, Boss identified two types of ambiguous loss. First, a loss marked by a physical absence and a psychological presence. In such loss experiences, the safety of an individual is often uncertain, and even if others presume death, the lack of physical proof can inhibit one’s ability to carry out mourning rituals that are societally and culturally significant. Examples of such loss include grieving missing loved ones due to war, kidnapping, or natural disaster(s). Losing a consistent physical connection with an individual due to incarceration, divorce, or adoption may be experienced as grief as well.
Boss defines the second type of ambiguous loss as a loss marked by a psychological absence but a physical presence. Relational shifts due to dementia, traumatic brain injuries, and/or addiction may be deeply distressing as, though an individual may still be present in one’s life, how connection occurs may be fundamentally different. Beyond diagnoses, relationship shifts are an inherent part of life, and grief may live alongside love, support, and care for individuals navigating shifts such as addiction recovery, changes in religious affiliation, political affiliation, and gender identity (Boss, 2006; Mills, 2022; Williams & Haley, 2020). Likewise, collective grief from losses in and violence toward groups such as the Black, immigrant, and queer communities may be deeply felt, and in an ever changing world facing consistent environmental and technological developments, it can be difficult to both mourn and hope for a brighter future (Erickson, 2021; Robins, 2024). As grief is incredibly personal, it may be felt and sparked by a variety of circumstances, and not all individuals will respond to a loss or change in the same way; however, recognizing the shared experience of grief in the losses that occur throughout one’s lifetime may be affirming and provide some wording for an emotional expression oftentimes too big to be captured through language.
As grief often exists beyond words, the arts can serve as a meaningful vessel for processing and healing. Creative practices such as music, art, dance, and drama frequently explore ambiguity and evoke varied, and at times paradoxical, feelings. Art engagement may be more playful and less daunting than verbal forms of emotional processing, and the arts can be felt and created communally. Through expression, creative practices may help individuals make sense of challenging circumstances, normalize ambivalence, recognize individual limitations and the value of community care, revise relationship attachments, reconstruct individual identities, and find hope. Artistic practices are naturally filled with transition and change whether that occurs via flowing watercolor on a piece of paper, angular to smooth movements, the narrative arc of an album, or other means. Further, changes in artistic practices are typically less frightening than personal and global changes, so within the structure of the arts, exploring change, ambiguity, and relational revisions may seem more possible (Boss, 2006; William & Haley, 2020).
All in all, grief is hard. Grief is messy, and it reveals itself in harrowing, beautiful, loving, distressing ways. There is not a way to avoid it, but there are ways to move through and with it that honor our relationships and our shared humanity.
Resources for Further Learning
- Books
- Loss, Trauma, and Resilience (Pauline Boss, 2006)
- Articles
- “The Politics of Ambiguous Loss: Missing Persons and Social Ecologies after Armed Conflict” (Simon Robins, 2024 – Journal of Human Rights Practice)
- “Specters of sorrow: Eco-grief, ambiguous loss, and religious creativity” (Jacob Erickson, 2021 – Counterpoint Navigating Knowledge)
- “Unregulated Emotional Risks of AI Wellness Apps” (Julian De Freitas & I. Glenn Cohen, 2025 – Nature Machine Intelligence)
- Websites
- What’s Your Grief (Eleanor Haley, M.S. & Litsa Williams, MA, LCSW-C)
- Ambiguous Loss
- Podcasts
- All There Is (Anderson Cooper)
- GriefCast (Cariad Lloyd)
- “Ambiguous Loss & the ‘Myth of Closure,’ with Pauline Boss, PhD” (Speaking of Psychology)
Citations
Boss, P. (2006). Loss, trauma, and resilience: Therapeutic work with ambiguous loss. W W Norton & Co.
Erickson, J. (2021, June 24). Specters of sorrow: Eco-grief, ambiguous loss, and religious creativity. Counterpoint
Navigating Knowledge.
www.counterpointknowledge.org/specters-of-sorrow-eco-grief-ambiguous-loss-and-religious-creativity/.
Mills, K. (Host). (2022, March 9). Ambiguous loss and the “myth of closure,” with Pauline Boss, PhD (No. 181)
[Audio podcast episode]. In Speaking of Psychology. American Psychology Association.
https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/ambiguous-loss
Robins, Simon. (2024). The Politics of Ambiguous Loss: Missing Persons and Social Ecologies after Armed
Conflict. Journal of Human Rights Practice. 17. 10.1093/jhuman/huae020.
Williams, L., & Haley, E. (2020). Grief 101: A primer for helping professionals. What’s Your Grief.
